another day...im 22 for a moment...

how could i have let myself get so consumed?

looking back now i know there have been several moments when i could have stopped and forced my eyes and heart to be open to the fact that it will never be.

sure, maybe it's just over-analyzing...but i am a pretty observant girl and things like this just don't happen by accident. it's meant for a purpose. and it hurts.

at least most people have the decency and the compassion to...well....i don't know. communicate.

this has to end. stop. die. whatever, it just needs to leave so i can start dwelling on things that actually matter in my life. not that it doesnt matter. i care, but it will not cross that line...no matter how tempting it is. thank you grey's anatomy.

stop.

think.

what's the problem?

stop.

think.

say how you feel.

no, this is not some ramblings about my life. that was a song from preschool. when you are in a situation that is heading south you need to stop, think about the here and now, ask yourself what's the problem then stop and think about the problem then let the person know how you feel.

it's fascinating to me how early we try to prepare children to be socially acceptable and controlled. and it's fascinating to me how quickly people forget these early life lessons. you would think a catchy tune like that would stick with a person forever.

uh....this whole early childhood thing is taking over my being. i went to a conference on saturday and it actually motivated me. i'm not supposed to be motivate to be a better early childhood teacher...that is not what i want. but, it's not about that. i realized this weekend how truly selfish i have been in with my career choices. who the hell am i to say what goes?

and my punishment for being so selfish....the "i told you so" feeling i get whenever i get a hug from one of those kids. the way he tells me "i love you miss elizabeth". the way he only ever wants to sit by me. the way she dances to music and tries to sing realize by colbie calliat. how they are always the two that are awake 30 minutes before everyone else and they just lay there playing copy-cat with my facial expressions.

i can't feel this way. i was never supposed to. i never intended to actually enjoy this age group.

so what do i do? can i even make the choice to one day leave the center? i would break hearts and that is not what i am about bc i can't stand that feeling of a broken heart myself.

so again, what's a girl to do?

the only thing i can do. intentionality. it's how i do....that was for you kels.

take on everyday as though it is their only day. what will they remember from that one and only day.

be real.

be relaxed.

be intentional.

be consistent.

.....oy....what a post.

and to end on a high note......

hatred for things like this

well, i had this pretty post with pictures from our fire station trip and then something happened and my page got refreshed and here you are....and brand new, clean post. dumb.

so, this is the condensed version.
we went to the fire station yesterday.
someone puked.
one male child tried to hold the fireman's hand the entire time. awkward and so funny.
some firemen were very attractive.

today, i was in charge of the room.
the other teacher, miss hali, finally had her baby. congrats.
i enjoy being in charge.
we sang a lot of songs today bc i was in charge.
i like singing songs. especially with preschoolers.
i worked at old navy today.
it was neat.
we got free t-shirts.
that was also neat.

tomorrow i have a iaeyc conference.
if you don't know what that stands for, look it up.
it is going to kick my ass.
it starts at 8am and goes until like 5.
thank you life for blessings like these...especially when it involves not sleeping in.

ok, good night.

hoptacopter and leavus

oh the life of a preschooler. there are so many words in this world that are just so hard to say.

for example:
hoptacopter...helicopter
leavus...leaves
bagina....vagina
diary....diarrhea

well, you get the idea. it sure does make my day a whole lot brighter.

i'm not so certain how i feel about having to be at school at 8 instead 9 like i used to before the staff shift.
but, whatever, my days seem to end a lot sooner. and i get to come home and nap before having to work at the nav.
tonight we have mandatory care seat training at school. fun.

two weeks from tomorrow i will be with gavin degraw. we belong together....like the open seas and shore. mmm...love him.

well, i need to jet people. training starts in t-minus 20 minutes. then...katie and i are celebrating hump day.
hoorah.

with hoptacopters and leavus,
elizabeth

opps...my bad...?

so, looks like i was whole-heartedly serious about that blog thing last year.
shoot, i almost made it a whole year without blogging on this baby! darn.

anyway, im going to try to make it work out. i love reading katie and kels' blogs and i feel as though they might love reading mine too...with my quite wit and kick-a grammar skills and all.

haha.

ok, well, tomorrow i will actually have a moment to blog like the wind. an update on life? ok.

until then, happy fire safety month. don't forget, if you are on fire. stop. drop. roll. your body will thank you.


sleep tight folks.